How to Get Your Time Back?
I am a busy mom with three little ones. My time and energy is limited and I am always searching for ways on how I could spend more valuable time with my family. We are what we repeatedly do so let’s make sure we are putting our time in things that matter to us.
Your time reflects your goals and values. Then why am I constantly feeling drained, tired and some days even frustrated. This is because we are in a rat race of trying to be productive and always doing rather than thinking if these things are aligned with our goals.
It is not just about doing things but doing the most valuable or important things. It is more important to be effective and efficent than doing busy work. It is not about getting lots of stuff done but about getting the right stuff done.
You know spending time with the kids is important then why is it not happening more frequently or happening last in your day if you get to it. Or maybe it is exercising and you know it is a priority but you never get around to it.
Do the things that give you value. Write down the top things that you value most in your day. Try to be specific. If it is family time then do you mean more individual time with your kids and your husband? Is it more time with your mom or aunt? I want you to think how much time you can give to each? Can you give 20 minutes just to your kids today? No phone, no tv just active play time with your kids. Maybe you cannot call your mom today, well then think about scheduling it for later this week which is our next key point.
Scheduling Your Priorities. This is about making a commitment to yourself and your family. Take out your calendar or download the pdf below and lets schedule in our priorities. My time with my kids is a huge priority for me so I schedule that right when they get home from school. My time with my husband is another huge priority to me and I tried scheduling this in the evening. Time with my mom is important but calling her everyday is difficult so we have family dinners once a month along with a call once a week. I am focusing my time on what matters by scheduling what is most important first.
Review and Adjust Your Schedule. After writing out my weeks, I was able to access how I was allocating my time and what went wrong. I realized that scheduling time with my husband right when he got home from work did not work well with my family. I saw this because I was able to review and test my schedule. My husband and I now schedule morning breakfast dates. I was able to review and adjust my schedule accordingly. I am also able to think about my schedule during the week and think of creative ways ways to spend my quality time with my kids like baking cookies or certain crafts. This also allowed me to notice that we were already in the car so we could go to a park right after preschool instead of going directly home for our family play time.
Set Up Positive Routines. What is your morning routine? Do you normally wake up late or rush your kids off to school? Is it chaos getting everything ready? Set up your day for success by looking at your daily routines.
Communicate Your Routines and Ask for Help. A lot of times as mom we think we should do everything ourselves and very rarely do we ask for help. People love to help and your kids and husband are part of your family too. Ask them to help you with dinner or laundry or other tasks.
Quite the Things that Drain You. Write down your normal day and how long it takes you. Take a notepad with you on a day and write down everything you do in each hour. Picking kids up, making dinner, watching tv, doing the dishes, etc. Look at your list and mark the ones that need to be down daily and those that can be scheduled later that week or even month. You will notice that some of your time is actually doing things that just suck up your time and drain you like scrolling through your phone or going from room to room to pick up stuff when you forgot why you were in that room to begin with. Be honest with yourself. Go down your list and mentally say, is this giving me worth or is it draining me? Is this task really needed?
Schedule Your Tasks. These include doing laundry, food prep, cleaning rooms, organizing kids clothes, etc. These are the additional stuff that normally people do first instead of their priorities. We want to fill our days with high valued items first and then the extra stuff. Pick a day or two during the week to schedule laundry. Pick a day to clean a room or organize. Put a time commitment on each task and set a timer 10 minutes before you had scheduled it to be done. This will give you time to finish up the task for that day and if you didn’t finish then you can schedule it in for another time during the week or month.
Electronic Time. Studies have shown that the average American spends more time on their phone then they think. Data has shown an average of 5.4 hours and up to 5.7 hours a day. That is a lot of time spent on the phone. Try putting your phone in another room when you are spending your time elsewhere. Try to play with your kids without any electronics on. You will see the impact within a day.
I know my days will be busier as my kids grow up. Your kids are only young once so let’s work together to enjoy every minute. We know our goals and values are essential on giving us purpose but we can only get there if we align them in our days. We can control and direct the use of our time today so we can invest our time in our families.
